He Gives And Takes Away

 My heart will surely say, Lord blessed be your name. At least I think those are the right lyrics.  It’s the song that has been on replay in my head for the last several days.  He does!  He is the One who gives but sometimes He chooses differently and we are left we broken hearts and empty arms.  This has been our reality this week.  After nine joy-filled weeks of looking to what a precious new life would look to our family we now grieve for a while.  I have gotten in the habit of waking up very early, checking my phone for messages from our daughter  and then lying there praying for what sometimes feels like hours before I fall back asleep.  It’s become my habit these last months.  The precious life for which I prayed has gone back to heaven.  I keep reminding myself, He works all things for good, He works all things for good.  These are the words that sustain me now as I lay there wishing for more.  Our daughter just suffered her second miscarriage in just a few months time.  We thought this one was a keeper.  Things were progressing well until it wasn’t .  Now we heal, and keep ourselves busy, try not to go down scary roads by ourselves but remember that God is the giver of life and that’s enough.  He also understands our tears.  So for this week, I struggle.  I mourn.  My heart aches for my family, our daughter our son in love. But I cling to the one who saved me.